hey srry guys..i've been making a lot of private entries :] regurgitated all my bad aura onto the screen.

>< eric (yu) stop worrying about her. shes a dickhole, she wants you jealous so what? dont give her the satisfaction of seeing you jealous and pissed. esp when she wanna make a complete bitch of herself *pat pat* no grl is worth that much emotion/time foe you. the right one'll come along evntually. :) feeeeeeeeel betttttttttter

sigh..lillian passed away 04/03/03. because of her, it made me really think of what i wanna do wif life. evn tho my mind was blank 1/2 the time. then i started thinking what if i died? would my friends miss me? lol the answer i got was : they wouldnt. yea maybe they'd be like, "aww she died, how sad :(" but none would really be sad or cry. noe why? cuz im just a nobody in this world. yea i care about a lotta ppls, but what do they feel towards me? smtime i feel so used...i mean used by ppls to get hw, to get answers. but who really wanted me as their friend? hah no one. i guess i just hafnt establish my role in life where evryone would consider me their good friend. wtf im hella rambling and none of my sentences makes sense. so tired...wouldnt it be better if we were nvr born? no pain, no emotion, no regret. how fun :) Lillian, you are one truly lucky grl to be where you are right now. no worries.

mm...i wonder what my life would be like if i nvr moved to fremont and were still wif my old friends. prolly a lot better off than where i am today. at least back in san jose i have friends who would consider me a true friend to them. i wish some ppls here would at least make me feel like i belong...so lonely in this world

aCk..how unfortunate. i was walking home wif homer cuz he kept nagging at me. and in  exchange of walking home wif him he hadta walk slower *AHEM* he walks SO fast!! like yesterday it took me 10 min to round the corner on Odina -_- and when i rounded the corner, homer was already half past gomes >O damn you. anyways today we met up wif jenn and she was telling me how her friends phoebe and someone were having a cussing contest. LOL funny funny. then homer being a poohead he is, started walking FASTER! grrr then me and jen were like ok lets follow homer's fooot coordinations! and we did and we still couldnt catch up. then jen was like maybe he takes big steps, so we started taking bigger steps and ended up lOoounging on the sidewalks. -_- mhm and when we crossssed the road to the left side of ondina i saw person B walking grrr!! it happend yesterday also! wtf?? lol yea but im mad at person B since person B is a stupidhead j/k!! ionno its a long story but to make it short its just that im pretty insecure? lol sounds so unlike me huh. well you wouldnt noe unless you're like shandra, isabel, alan, homer, or victor  har har yea and joan! its so gay i get jealous too ezily now, i blame this on hormones! ahhhhh. ~_~ hm ok i'll trust person B unless i really cant take it then i'll talk to 'em.

howevr there ARE the highlights of my day!

1. A on spanish composition. first A evr on a COMPOSITON this yr. and i spent less time on this one than on the othrs hahahaha

2. B on math test. its bad but it wouldve been worse so im not complaining

3. well im proud to say 3rd period team #2 soccer team is the UNDEFEATED! UH HUH! THATS RIGHT! oh yea! hopefully Danny and Tonichi can keep up the nice goal shots and we dont hafta run on friday!!

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thats it longass entries huh? lol xangas better than lj :X no offense *shrugs* lj is too complicated plus too many ppls reads it so its not really a journal anymore. hehehe. mm so many things i wanna talk about to update my life. so i'm gonna cram them all in this entry

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well i'd like to say february has been the best month in my life! mostly cuz friends and my b/f made it special to me. lol well its kinda bad cuz i had emotional ups and downs too :\ scared multiple ppls when i was pissed. you guys didnt mind right ;) well the dance 2/7 was nice. hehe. yea you wouldnt noe what im talking about unless you ask me. then theres vday, man that was a fun day at shandras and all. pigging out and telling ghost stories freaking each othr out! and the basement oOohh lol we're so scared. oh and that hug from dan :) that was sweet but i didnt like it when ppls forced him to do it, didnt seem sincere. then came davids party, it was ok...ran outta food b4 i could get any!! >O well i didnt get pizza since i was too grossed out by fear.com *shivers* omg that reminds me of the cruelty and nastiness of ss. i mean cannibalism *shudders* in the Donner party a woman had to watch his husbands heart get eaten cuz the survivors were too hungry. ew. and how this slave got his eyes burned out foe wanting to learn to read. damn americans. yes ss made me racist against evil whites. also the North of the US sucks cuz they dont do anything about it to stop these cruelties. i resent them. anyways yea im done hahaha thats like all thats happend in feb. we'll see what happens in march :] first up jason H's bday! then matt's i think...then jchi! then carol! yay! lol happy early birthday!

doop doop doop. the party was :\ yea i admit it was boring hehe. srry!! anyways hw right now. sucks to be me xO. lmao joyce you're stupid wif the goldilock storyy i mean hahahaha wheres papa bear?? and the grl? dOrK! cm sucks..makes me miss your concert ahhh im gonna fail anyways, didnt study :X davids gonna get really pissed at me but thats ok.

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have you evr wondered what would happen if you die right here right now? i mean dont you just wonder? cuz i do... haha or if you were nvr born? maybe if i wasnt born ppls lives wouldnt suck shit. then again friends keep me alive, but what if one day they're all gone? haha.. i mean family life sucks. money is just something we need to survive in today's world. and yet we make sucha bigass deal outta it. ok back to hw and i should stop thinking so much, cuz i might actually do smthing stupid one day.

haha i sorta abandoned my xanga evr since i got it x_x. hehe anyways today's sucha crappy day. well first of all i nvr had the courage to do what i wanted to do foe the past ionno how many weeks!! >O im so pissed at myself. then i keep putting it off..and then my mood worsens each day as its put off. kinda sucks. xP yesterday was frank-O's birthday!! happy birthday! evn tho your my neighbor you dont get nething! j/k j/k nex up is david's bday! then keats! then matt/jason! and then carol! justin is smwhere stuck in between matt/jason and carol hehe.

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how are things going at hyde? (to the general cupertino ppls) haha cute haircut joan ;) and catherine good luck wif michael! *ahem* hehe anyone notice how julianne's just nvr on nemore? :\ smone tell her i miss herrr!! j/k

oOoh joyce! dorky tu!! hes still hottttt tho xP i quit orchestra and is determined to make it into cys! *drags sandy wif me* you're coming wif me also!!! HMPH! and so is eric but he sucks so it duznt matter j/kkk~ not like you'll evr read this

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so back to my life. shandra you suck! and i made that dimple on your face today!!

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alan, gimme back my pilllllows you thief! hahaa liposuctionated dimples :D you DORK! *pat pat* you're still my very useful tutor j/k!

aiite thats enough foe today after abandoning this foe 3 months+ hehe i hope i wont like update this in the interval of 2 months like i did wif my lj -_-" i'm just too lazy to sign in and write about crap.